To the People at Home or In the Crowd, It Keeps Coming Up Anyhow

 I talked about sex at a church in Ukraine

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  You read that correctly. Using simple, easy-to-translate sentences, I shared my testimony on stage in a room full of strangers. If you had asked me 4 months ago to share my testimony I would enthusiastically refuse. “My testimony? No. That is private. It’s mine. Ask someone else.” My reaction was most definitely tied to shame. As a millennial raised in the church, my formative years were spent in the spin of Purity Culture. This well-meaning movement led me to place my salvation in my celibacy. Once I succumbed to my flesh, I automatically fled from shame thinking a one time decision disappointed Jesus. My adult life thereafter has been a roller coaster of me unlearning lies from the Enemy telling me that I was somehow broken and relearning about God’s redeeming love. 

     This came full circle as one of my teammates asked me to baptize him during a debrief in Durres, Albania. As I was praying over this request, I opened my Bible. Now this particular Bible, and the translation, is new to me, specifically purchased for my time in the field. As opened it to Luke 15, the header of a parable caught my eye: “The Parable of the Compassionate Father.” At first glance I was unfamiliar with this parable but as I read on, I recognized the story as “The Parable of the Prodigal Son.” This difference in the header struck a chord with me. This parable is not a reflection of the choices of the son but of the character of the father. I prayed this over the man as I baptized him, that by confessing his sins and surrendering his life he was rewriting the title of his story so it was no longer “Look at what I’ve messed up” but “Look at What God has Done!” 

     This leads us to sharing my testimony. My story of how I searched for love, acceptance, and fulfillment in the arms of men and was disappointed every time. I prayed about what to share and what to leave and I felt a familiar stirring in my heart. I felt the Lord leading me to share everything. “Remember this is not a story of what you messed up but what I have saved and redeemed,” He said to me. So with that I stepped on stage with shaky hands and a red face and told the story of how the LORD pulled me out of an abusive relationship, restored my broken heart, and how He continually teaches me how to love again…how to love more like Him. I can’t wait to share this again and again. THAT is the new title of my story. 

LORD,

Thank you. When I reflect on my life I have unending words of gratitude for all that You’ve done. Please allow those words to be easily recalled when times get tough and situations seem bleak. Help me remember that You are the same Compassionate Father no matter what I do. I love you.

Amen.

The Parable of the Compassionate Father

“The the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his slaves, ‘…Let us eat and celebrate, because this son of mine was dead, and is alive again-he was lost and is found!” So they began to celebrate…’It was appropriate to celebrate and be glad, for your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost and is found.’”

Luke 15:21-24 & 32