Consider It An Indiscriminate Act of Kindness

     I am now convinced that I will never stay on top of updating everyone on what is happening while I am on this crazy ride and it isn’t for lack of trying. Currently, I am sitting in a Starbucks furiously typing while the Wifi connection is solid. One thing I did not prepare for before going on the field was how emotionally WRECKED I would get frequently. I cry often these days and for many different reasons. Sometimes I am so happy finally living in obedience that I could positively burst. Sometimes I am frustrated by living in community. Sometimes I am completely overwhelmed by how much God loves us and how He displays that love…FREQUENTLY. The below story is a recent reflection on how He revealed another facet of His love to me. 

Current writing/sobbing view

     We spent a dreamy month in Odessa, Ukraine serving Heritage Ukraine. Heritage Ukraine is a multifaceted children’s ministry that provides various services to families in Odessa and surrounding areas. A portion of our ministry was assisting in the on-site center for Autism, appropriately named “The Joy Center”. I had very little experience with children on the spectrum so this was a new adventure for me.

Heritage Ukraine family and team Dry Top Ramen

     On our first day of volunteering, I was assigned to a young man called Iliya. I was told that he was fairly low functioning and did not speak. I was also given a quick run down what to do if he bit himself or if he bit me. This warning filled me with fear. Fear that he was going to hurt me or worse hurt himself while he was under my care. In response to my fear, I spent most of my time fighting against him. Anytime he moved his hands or mine towards his mouth I forcefully pulled them away; this took a lot out of me physically and I would walk away each day with my nerves wracked and my muscles sore. It wasn’t until I took notice of how the ladies who worked at the Joy Center would interact with the many other children who exhibit this behavior. There was no fear. They faced each child, gently held their hands, allowed them space to express their frustrations, and kissed them to show love. It was during one encounter where I watched this happening and I felt the Holy Spirit whisper, “This is how I love you.” I was overcome with emotion at the thought. It was so true. Confined by the human nature of sin I naturally gravitate towards things that often cause me harm. Instead of yanking, pulling, and fighting, the LORD stands on the other side of it patiently waiting. Out of love, He gently  takes hold of the scars that are self-inflicted and lovingly caresses them; He shows us unwavering, undeserving kindness. The young lady, Masha, who exhibited these character traits that day turned to me and gave a soft smile. I told her, in simple understandable English, “You have a heart like Jesus.” 

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     As I am typing this, I am unashamedly weeping. I am still in awe of the many ways the LORD has revealed His love towards me in the people I encounter and I am so honored to share these with you. The support I have received from everyone reading this has been the greatest gift. You have allowed me to explore and experience new depths and dimensions of our unfathomable Father. Thank you. It is my hope and prayer that I may continue to share with y’all these experiences AND that each of you keep an eye open for how God is revealing Himself to you. As always, stay tuned for more. I love each of you and wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Peace & Blessings, 

Claran