You said ‘yes’ as I said ‘please’

TRAINING CAMP

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     I’m sitting here staring at my computer screen trying to cohesively compact all the thoughts/feelings/emotions/experiences from training camp last week and one word keeps coming to mind: OVERWHELMED.

     From the moment I stepped foot on AIM’s campus for training camp excitement flooded my soul. Finally, I met my admission counselor, Squad Mentor, Alumni Leaders, and most importantly, my squadmates. Hugging people I previously only encountered  via Zoom Call for the past 6 months was indescribable. These preliminary feelings only scratched the surface of what was to come over the next week.

     Each day consisted of a theme where we were given a country and were required to dress appropriately for the country and were fed food from that country…based on what we were served, you can expect a lot of rice pictures over the next year (#nocomplaintshere). 

     Our daily schedules were jam packed with group exercise,  worship, sessions, team building exercises, trips to the porta potties, packing & repacking our bags, and games of ‘monkey in the middle’. All of this falls under the category of “good overwhelmed”. 

     Anxiety and I have been old pals for a while. Any time I feel the “bad overwhelmed”, the Enemy likes to rear his ugly head and use anxiety to tell me “You shouldn’t feel this way. You shouldn’t be around people until you’re happy…” which leads to me withdrawing until I superficially feel better. 

…H O W E V E R…

      This week provided life changing clarity summed up into one phrase that was spoken over us…”When you’re talking to yourself, you’ll use ‘I’. When Satan, the accuser, is talking to you, he uses ‘you’. When God’s talking to you, He calls you by name.” This phrase propelled me to exit my tent, the venue for that current pity party, and run to my nearest squadmates. I cried. They prayed. I wish I could tell you this was my only breakdown during the week…I’m glad this isn’t the only time my squadmates prayed over me.

     Training camp was a TOUGH experience for me and unearthed some deeply compacted anger that weighed WAY too much on my heart. After a group confession of this anger I had held onto for too long, I was baptized. In an inflatable baby pool with water from a hose in the middle of a thunderstorm around midnight. I never really believed in the true cleansing power of a baptism, but as I stood soaking wet, surrounded by my squadmates I now know that undeniably the Holy Spirit is real and He is MOVING. 

     These past few days that feeling of overwhelm has crept in, but I have kept it at bay by acknowledging it and relying on the help of others to carry my load. I am excited to see what all God has in store for us over the next year and to see how He moves through us and to His Children all over the world.