My dad has been in and out of the hospital for almost a year now. It all started when he had open heart surgery and spent the next few months at home recovering. Then the pandemic hit (in case you forgot) and he was restricted to our home. As soon as things started to open up back here in Georgia, my dad was ECSTATIC about the possibility of getting out and about. Right about then, the wheels started to fall off. This man has faced a multitude of ailments including, but not limited to: bacterial infection, fungal infection, bilateral pneumonia, medicine induced hallucinations but NEVER “the virus”. While my dad was experiencing all of this, I went through a spiritual rollercoaster. From having moments of rock solid positivity to experiencing garment tearing frustration of Old Testament proportions. I spent most of last year riding in the front seat of a very taxing emotional rollercoaster. One day while driving to work the song “Weep With Me” by Rend Collective came on. If you haven’t heard this song, please stop reading and go listen to it now...Go on, I’ll wait…

Now that you’re back and your eyes are good and swollen from tears, I’ll continue. The lyrics tell of God’s goodness and His capacity to sympathize with His children. He knows every bit of heartbreak and He hurts when we hurt, like any good father. I listened to and meditated on those lyrics and prayed “God, I don’t know what to do but You do. You have gone before and You go after and there is already victory claimed at the other end of this battle in Your name.” 

After that surrender, every time another ailment, another infection, another trip to the hospital came up, I prayed, through gritted teeth, this same prayer of victory. And because what you practice grows stronger, this prayer became easier. 

Last week, after 20+ negative COVID tests over the past year, the inevitable happened...my dad tested positive. After receiving the news, it would have been understandable to break down and not accept the news...to be angry and sad and frustrated but I had developed this new skill. I reflexively prayed “God, I don’t know what to do but You do. You have gone before and You go after and there is already victory claimed at the end of this battle in Your name.”

Thankfully, my dad is stronger than he has been in over a year and thankfully he was already in the hospital so treatment could get started right away. As of today, he is scheduled to come home. I know this story has ended differently for many, many people and it may still end differently for me...I don’t know. What I DO know is that our God is good, He loves us, and He is for us, even when it doesn’t feel like it.